If you look back at many issues that you've had in relationships you can probably find that there was a difference in what someone perceived with what the other intended.The meaning of perceive is 'to attain awareness or understanding of'. This means that we become aware or get an understanding of something or someone. Don't forget that this understanding (or perception) can be wrong. This understanding can be based on opinion instead of facts. The meaning of intend is 'to have something in mind for a purpose or goal (plan). This means what a person's purpose or plan is about something or someone. Relationships can be difficult sometimes regarding these two words. We normally judge other people by what they do and judge ourselves by our intention. The problem is that we know what our intentions are but may be completely wrong about someone else's intention. Take Jesus for example; why did Caiaphas and the other high priests want Him killed? It seems they thought Jesus was working with the enemy and not God. They were so wrapped up in their own perception of Him they couldn't see Jesus's works for what they were, miracles from God.Talk about having a person completely misjudged and misunderstood.Sometimes our own actions make a bad situation worse. I know people who have made mistakes in their lives that have caused great hurt and disappointment to the people around them and through my own experiences with them our relationships are never the same. I say this because no matter how innocent a gesture or sincere a comment these people are always on the defense. Most everyone has forgiven their offence and moved on but because they themselves haven't come to terms with the hurt they caused they are under the misunderstanding that we are trying to attack them.Look, how can we get past a bad situation if you are going to spend your life defending it? How easily they forget how much we love them.
Intention vs. Perception
By R. Martinez
Unfortunately this happens all the time in our day to day living. I often struggle when a close friend or relative accuses me of wrong behavior or misconstrued something I said when they should know me better than that. Maybe that's the problem.Maybe we shouldn't assume that someone should automatically know what we are trying to say or do at any particular time. We need to be clear and careful in explaining ourselves when speaking and or doing something that may be taken the wrong way.People go through things and won't always have a smile on their face or be cheerful that morning. That doesn't mean we should run away with our thoughts about why that person was rude that day and now you want to have ill feelings towards them.We have to remember that we ourselves aren't always a day at the beach or in a good mood for that matter. I can't help but think about how many friendships and even marriage shave changed or even been lost because of this small but vicious cycle. Look, we need to take control of this issue by at least trying to take what a person says or does at face value. For example, if my husband brings me breakfast in bed I should accept it for what it is, a kind gesture and not assume he wants something from me. (like a trip to Vegas) I know what I'm saying is not so cut and dry but it's a step forward in resolving the challenge at hand.
A really good friend of mine is a firm believer on approaching people immediately after a negative situation or misunderstood moment. I feel this is a good practice because it clears the air and brings light to a circumstance that was nothing more than a misunderstanding. I must admit I am not good at that, but I will try to get better at it. I guess I should say this isn't the quick fix for all issues but it sure is a good start. I know this is a topic with lots more detail than I have covered here, so if anyone out there would like to add to this whether it be to share an experience or just comment on this topic as well as my article please feel free.
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