There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His Father gave him a bag of nails and told him that everytime he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally the day came when the boy didn't lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper. The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone.

The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, 'You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. But It won't matter how many times you say I'm sorry, the wound will still be there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one. Remember that friends are very rare jewels, indeed. They make you smile and encourage you to succeed. They lend an ear, they share words of praise and they always want to open their hearts to us.

 

The Bible says "Be angry but do not sin" Eph. 4:26.

Have you ever thought about that? How many times do we get angry and wonder if we've sinned or not? Do we ever think about the damage we do when we say things out of anger? How much damage have we done to our children with our words out of anger? These are questions that we all should be asking ourselves. I've heard that it's okay to have righteous anger. But what does that mean? How do we have righteous anger without sinning? The best example of this is with our spouse and especially our children. Do we really know the damage we have done to them and can we repair that damage?

Many of the issues we have are exactly due to words that were said to us out of anger. It causes insecurities in our life that make us feel like junk. It causes self esteem problems that can linger for all of our lives. I admittedly say that I have hurt my kids out of anger. Although I don't believe that every time we hurt someone when we say something out of anger is necessarily a sin there is a thin line between the two. Sometimes righteous anger causes someone to hear the truth and sometimes that hurts. It's done for the purpose exposing something so that change could be made. Righteous anger also causes an exposure to an injustice, wrong doing or correction as Jesus showed in Mat.21:12 and 13. But anger shown in the wrong way will have an opposite effect. The story above shows the result of sinful anger. Words can cause scars that never fully heal. Only the love and grace of God and the support of encouraging friends and family that you surround yourself with can heal those scars completely. You are just left with the reminder of when you were hurt. That's not a bad thing because it helps you remember what you don't want in your life.

I have struggled with this and have made it a point to ask God for the love that is required to be edifying to all who I come in contact with. Eph. 4:29 says "Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying (or building up, encourage), that it may minister grace unto the hearers." We have to all work on making sure that what comes out of our mouth is encouraging. It's very hard to do that in anger. Sometimes we need to take a little time when we are angry to make sure that we don't say something that we may regret. I also understand that sometimes there are people who hold in there anger, never release what needs to be said and then resentment sets in. This can be worse. We need to find better ways to control our words when we are angry. Some of us actually can commit murder with the words that are said in anger. We can kill someone's soul with our words. I hope I've never done that to anyone. I want to make it a point to build up my wife and kids so that they continue to grow there self worth, confidence, soul and spirit. To all who have been battered or hurt with words, seek the love, healing and restoration power that only God can give. It's never too late. I want to end by saying the last line of this story that I did not put as part of the story. We should all be saying this. "Please forgive me if I have ever left a hole in your fence"